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USB-C, The ‘C’ Doesn’t Mean Cash
Jul. 18th, 2025 09:00 am![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedRead USB-C, The ‘C’ Doesn’t Mean Cash
A customer walks up to the self-checkout with a pack of printer paper and a USB flash drive. Instead of inserting a credit card, he tries to plug the USB stick into the chip reader.
Me: "Uh, sir, that’s the card reader. For payment cards."
Customer: "Yeah, I know. I loaded this with fifty bucks at home. Shouldn’t it just upload to your system?"
(no subject)
Jul. 18th, 2025 08:00 amnotalwaysright_feedI am playing Dungeons and Dragons with some friends. We’re all fairly close in and out of character, but my character has allied with the campaign villain, a manipulative vampire, and we have just ended a short but intense combat with said villain that ended before I get my turn, because we took an opportunity […]
A Hurricane Of Expectation
Jul. 18th, 2025 07:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead A Hurricane Of Expectation
It's about a week after Hurricane Helene did her thing in Florida in 2024. A man walks over to the customer service counter at the big box store where I work. He places a cheap plastic umbrella in front of my coworker.
Customer: "I want to return this. It failed during sideways rain."
About To Get Some Very Crunchy Honey
Jul. 18th, 2025 05:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead About To Get Some Very Crunchy Honey
I’m tidying up the front display when a customer approaches the aisle with silk flowers in her cart, the kind we sell for wreaths or cemetery arrangements.
Customer: "Excuse me, are these flowers safe for bees to pollinate?"
‘Instant’ Is How Long It Took Them To Misunderstand It
Jul. 18th, 2025 03:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead ‘Instant’ Is How Long It Took Them To Misunderstand It
Customer: "This is false advertising. It says Instant Pot, but it takes over an hour to make stew! That’s not instant!"
Employee: "It’s faster than a slow cooker, sir."
Customer: "Then they should call it 'Slightly Quicker Than Usual Pot' or something. I want to speak to someone about this!"
What Do They Think Lava Lamps Are?
Jul. 18th, 2025 01:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead What Do They Think Lava Lamps Are?
A couple is browsing the lighting section, specifically a stack of Himalayan salt lamps.
Customers: *Dead serious.* "So… do these get brighter the closer you are to Nepal?"
Won’t Recant The Rant
Jul. 18th, 2025 12:00 amnotalwaysright_feed
I’m the supervisor in the prepress department of a small printing company. My now-long-gone supervisor used to storm in regularly and start screaming at me.
Supervisor: "Prepress has screwed up this job, and you need to figure out how it happened and make sure it never happens again!"
That Asteroid Really Batteried The Earth
Jul. 17th, 2025 11:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead That Asteroid Really Batteried The Earth
One Saturday morning a dad storms up to the counter gripping a plastic dinosaur toy in one hand and two very dead AA batteries in the other.
Customer: "Look, I get that the batteries that come with these toys might not be the best, but these don't last longer than five minutes! They died in the middle of a teachable moment!"
What Happened In That Restroom Is Not Right, But The Price Is
Jul. 17th, 2025 10:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead What Happened In That Restroom Is Not Right, But The Price Is
We headed back to the customer's restroom (we only had the one), and the first thing that hit me was the smell. It was like Satan gorged on an all-you-can-eat Taco Tuesday and blasted it out his rear end, washed down with broccoli and stinky cheese.
Read What Happened In That Restroom Is Not Right, But The Price Is
They Win On A Technicality And Lose On Social Awareness
Jul. 17th, 2025 09:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead They Win On A Technicality And Lose On Social Awareness
Signs: "Please use bar seating for laptops. Let’s keep the main tables for conversation and community."
A customer is set up at a four-seater table in the middle of the café. Headphones in, iPad on a stand, wireless keyboard, charger cable draped across a second chair, and a half-drunk oat milk cortado.
Read They Win On A Technicality And Lose On Social Awareness
Let The Man Cook
Jul. 17th, 2025 08:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Let The Man Cook
New Hire: "Uh… is he… always like that?"
Me: "Define 'like that.'"
New Hire: "He smells like a dispensary and hasn’t blinked in ten minutes."
Read Let The Man Cook
Scapegoats Don’t Lay Eggs Either
Jul. 17th, 2025 07:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Scapegoats Don’t Lay Eggs Either
A customer is staring at the eggs.
Customer: "You see this? So much more than last month! Nobody wants to work anymore and gather the eggs! Those lazy immigrants!"
(no subject)
Jul. 17th, 2025 06:05 pmnotalwaysright_feed(In Sixth Grade we had our fair share of trouble makers and one psycho teacher for English class. One day in particular, we were actually calm but our teacher was having it) Trouble Maker: *Calmly retrieves notebook from backpack and places it on desk. Goes back into bag for a pen but accidentally sweeps notebook […]
Where Is This Place And Can I Send Them My Resumé?
Jul. 17th, 2025 05:55 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Where Is This Place And Can I Send Them My Resumé?
Supervisor: "Hey. You’re working really fast."
Me: "Thanks. Just trying to stay ahead while it’s quiet."
Supervisor: "Right, but... maybe slow it down a bit. You’re kind of disrupting the store’s natural pace."
Not Coining A New Way Of Banking
Jul. 17th, 2025 05:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Not Coining A New Way Of Banking
A customer walks up to the teller window and places a shiny brass coin on the counter with dramatic flair.
Customer: "I want to deposit this into my account."
Me: "...Sir, that’s a novelty token."
Customer: "It’s a physical Bitcoin. Worth, like, sixty grand. Look it up."
The Compass Stops When The Penny Drops, Part 2
Jul. 17th, 2025 05:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead The Compass Stops When The Penny Drops, Part 2
A younger man walks up to the counter holding a still-packaged hiking compass.
Customer: "I’d like to return this."
Me: "Oh? What seems to be the issue?"
Customer: "It only points north. I need something that gives me all the directions. Not just one."